Stop Quoting the Bible at Your Kids!

       Okay, I know the title of the post sounds totally anti-God and anti-Bible. That is not all what I am intending to say, but I got your attention, right? I am referring to the danger of using the Bible to get what we want as parents rather than actually parenting our children and teaching them what God's Word has to say. Ephesians 6:1  has been used and over used to the point that some kids can quote it backward and forward, but inside their spirit is angry and resentful.

       Mom: "No, you can't wear that outfit."
       Child: "But WHY? "
       Parent: "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." 
       Child: "I can't wait to grow up and get out of here so I don't have to obey you anymore!"
       (Verbally stated or held internally.)

       This is not the only verse that is overused or used out of context.
       Child: "I can't understand my algebra homework."
       Parent: "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
       Child: (sarcastically) "Thanks, that cleared everything up."

​       The examples could go on, but hopefully you get my point. Child is arguing, complaining, or disobeying and the parents response is to throw out a verse and move on like it was a magic phrase that fixed everything. The child has learned nothing other than they needed help from a parent they trusted and that help was not given. Instead they got a quick quote that was empty and lacked love behind it.
       This is wrong. So what do we do? Should you not teach your kids scripture or avoid quoting it to them? No, but I would assert that there is a way to do it that is gentle and graceful. It will teach them to love God's Word rather than to hate it or twist it to be used for their own purposes. 

1. Always keep your teaching age appropriate. A two year old is old enough to learn some basic verses, but may not be old enough to understand their application in their life.
2. When you use the Bible, explain what you are talking about and keep it in context. Yes, your child should obey, but have a discussion with them and find out if there is a reason they are having such a hard time obeying. Listen. You may find they are struggling with friends, or a teacher at school, or they are worried about something too big for them to handle currently. 
3. Teach them verses that they can apply to their own life and struggles. When my son was three I taught him, "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." I taught it to him when he was saying he didn't want to go to bed because he was afraid. Later, he applied it on his own. When he was afraid to go into the basement by himself I heard him stop and quote, "What time I am afraid . . ." before boldly facing his fears while solidly putting his trust in God. 
4. Live it! This is the hardest one of all. Being kind to one another, showing love to those who hurt us, and forgiving as God forgives us is often easier said than done. But really, how can we teach our children to live and love the Word if we aren't doing it ourselves? I realized this one day while I was yelling at my son for failing to remember where he put his slippers. "Seriously? How did you lose them? This behavior is unacceptable!" So on and so forth . . . you get the picture. Right after my screaming fit God brought my own forgetfulness and lack of organization to my mind. I had to ask forgiveness from both my son and God. I could see the frustration literally melt away from his face as I prayed and asked forgiveness right there in front of him. I wanted him to hear me asking forgiveness from God the way my he often had to ask forgiveness from me. I can say that we should be kind to one another, but if I am rude to sales people, servers, or others I interact with, how can I lecture him about being kind to others.

​       We can do a great deal of damage when it comes to our handling of scripture and it's presentation to our kids. We can also ruin our testimony by our rants on social media and behavior toward other adults. For now all I can do is try to live out the gospel every day and when I fail, ask forgiveness of my heavenly Father and those around me.