It's (almost) my birthday.

       29 years ago I had a pit in my stomach as I dreaded my approaching birthday. Okay, maybe I wouldn't say I was dreading my 11th birthday, but I was upset. Why? Well, when I turned 10 someone - I don't know who - commented that this was the last year I could show how old I was with my hands. I was taken aback. Maybe it was my introverted self who loved the ability to communicate my age (common conversation fodder for adults) without having to speak. Whatever the reason, I found this number "11" just so uncool.
       Tomorrow I face another uncool number. I know it's just a number, but I don't like saying because it sounds like the number of a person who has their life together. The number of a person who has a career and is progressing toward some end goal. I, on the other hand, am someone who is still trying to figure out what to do. I don't have all the answers yet. Maybe answers aren't what aging gives you. But when I stop and consider my life I think maybe I've found a few of those elusive answers. 

1. I will never make everyone happy. There are plenty of people who love me and sometimes they are very happy. Sometimes they are not. I can do my best and do what I believe God wants me to. Their actions and reactions are between them and God. 
2. Keeping everything the same is never a good thing. Mixing things up allows for the important to be separated from the unimportant. Pruning is a really important project in everything from gardening to cleaning out craft closets.
3. Family is wonderful. They share your genes. They share your experiences. They are worth investing in. 
4. Friends are gifts from God. They don't have to live with me so they can say truth and support me in a way that I depend upon. 
5. Not getting what I want, not having all the answers, and not knowing a plan for tomorrow makes me very dependent upon God. 

       So, I guess I'll take whatever birthdays I can and be thankful for them. They are a privilege denied to many so I will work to use the time that I have to glorify God and never give up seeking to know Him more each day. I'll keep searching for direction and writing about the twists and turns of life. Thank you for reading and thank you for being a part of my life.